*Apple closed the door so that the children couldn't hear the conversation and took a deep breath before stating to answer Connor's message.*
Let's start from the beginning.
I have never spoke a bad word about you to Owen.
Never.
Not even when you took him and didn't let me speak to him on the phone.
Never!
When Owen finally got back to me he was more angry at me because I had a baby and got married without him knowing or being here than at you.
I never, ever told him that it was your fault. You can check that too. I always apologised, told him that I missed him so much. Never did I told him that the reason he was not there and the reason he didn't know about the baby was because of you.
And until Christmas Owen was angry at me. He thought I didn't want him at the wedding because I didn't see him as my son as much as the others.
It broke my heart to see him like that Connor, but I still kept my mouth shut.
Now lets go to the turning point.
On Christmas night we were opening the presents. I warped two presents and gave them to Owen as if they were from you.
Honestly I don't know how in your head that was something that I would do if I was trying to keep you two apart.
After opening the presents Owen wanted to talk to you. You were still blocking my number so I could not call you and let him speak to you.. so I told him to write you a message.
He did.
He wrote:
"Merry Christmas dad.
Mom gave me a hat and a mp3 player and said they were from you.
Thanks!"
Do you remember your answer?
He sure does.
You told him to stop contacting you!
You were the one shutting him out of your life.
He cried the whole night!
His own father told him, to his face, that he would block him if he ever tried to contact him again.
I tried to tell him that you'd probably just had too much eggnog, that you didn't meant it... but the damage was done.
He asked me to change his last name.
When I told him that I didn't thought that was a good idea he burst into tears again, asking me if I didn't want him either.
That was enough for me.
Next morning I filled for the name change.
I didn't ask for your opinion because
number 1- I could not talk to you because you blocked me from all communication and
number 2- because you had just very clearly stated that you didn't wanted any contact with your own son. For me that put you in no position to even have an opinion.
Now about Maynard. Why was he sad?
Owen never broke his relationship with him.
The last time they talked Owen told him he wanted to play more with him
It was Maynard's mom and not Owen or me that ended the relationship.
You can ask her.
Even so, Owen is more than happy to talk to him, play with him, have him in his life if he wants to.
Now tell me.. how am I being unreasonable after all this?
Last time you got custody of Owen you blocked me from speaking to him.
You didn't let him call me to speak to me or his sisters.
You kept him from his own mother's wedding.
You didn't told him he was having a baby brother.
You dragged him around and don't forget kids talk...He spent most of his days alone. He didn't even celebrated Christmas.. or New years... he didn't even had play dates or celebrated Halloween. Nothing!
Do you honestly think after that behaviour I'm going to give custody back to you?
After you told to Owen's face that you didn't want him to contact you or you'd block him from your life?
No way.
But you don't need custody to have a healthy relationship with your son.
You can visit him, he can visit you, you can write to each other, he can spend vacations with you and Maynard. You are invited to every birthday party, every event in his life... even if is something as trivial as wearing a tie for the first time or something like that.
You are *not* blocked from his life. You never were. If you are not present is because you choose not to be.
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