Ruby woke me up from a restless sleep. She was anxious to go visit her friends at the nursery and would not be persuaded to climb into bed with me to sleep a little longer.
I got up and looked at the sheets... they were tidy and made the room feel empty.
I shook my head trying to push the feeling away.
I hate waking up alone. It's not loneliness that bothered me... it's just the waste of what could have been a loving good morning kiss and a good morning smile I'll never get back.
I gave Scarlet and Ruby extra kisses and hugs ( mostly against their will...) to make up for it.
It was snowing when we stepped outside and once again I felt unease.
I love snow... why did I resent the cold blowing in my face?
I said goodbye to the kids and on my way to the grocery shop I bumped into Angel .
We chitchatted for a while about her upcoming wedding and how stressful it can be to try to have everything planned just right.
I heard myself speak to her like it was someone else talking.
"Can I give some advice?
Enjoy every second of it.
And then prepare yourself because it doesn't matter how perfect the dress is, how much your guest enjoy themselves, how beautiful all the bridesmaids are or how awesome the decoration is... everything will fade away the moment you say "I do". Nothing else will matter but that connection you're making and you won't be aware of anything else but the person in front of you, saying " I do" to you.
And then you can't help but to feel silly for stressing over it and you'll know that if you'd done it in your jeans with messy hair it would have been perfect just the same."
It was what I needed to hear at that moment.
Silly that I would have to remind myself that love is all that really matters.
You don't need plans or to know were you'll be in 5 years or the perfect setting. You just need love.
And suddenly the snow was as appetising as ever and the cold wind was just playing with my hair the way I like it.
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