Dear Rosa,
Let me try to give you the short version of what I have been doing these past 3 years.
A strange combination of events had me, Andrew and the kids shipped to a god forsaken place with no internet access and almost no other ways to communicate with the outside world.
Sounds bad but it was actually pretty amazing.
Andrew got to work on his fishing and animal training skills in the best place in the world and I got to keep Owen away from a very disturbed Connor that started sending me threats about kidnapping him.
We lived alongside a little village and I got to spend 3 years seeing my kids grow with no distractions.
Owen had oh-so-many new bugs to explore and his passion for science grew even stronger.
He is now 13 and I could not be prouder of him. He is my right hand with the others, without a doubt. He wears the big brother title like a second skin and sometimes it's hard to keep in mind he is still a kid.
Ruby is still as serious about dancing as ever. She was upset for leaving her classic studies in her old school but she was very excited to learn all the new exotic dances. By the end of the first year my shy Ruby was already teaching ballet the younger kids over there.
The last two years her and her "students" were even invited to perform in the Season Greeting. They were so adorable.
I mean, she is still that shy little mouse when we go shopping and someone asks her something or if we go to the park and there are kids that she doesn't know. But withing that circle she flourished and she is a confident young lady.
I think Scarlet was the one having more fun of them all. She was as wild as the wildlife over there and I barely saw her in the afternoons after study hours. She made a handful of friends, all as energetic as she is and she had a blast playing in the river or climbing trees or chasing whatever they decided that day.
She is the one that will give me grey hairs prematurely, I'm sure. I keep expecting her to do something extra-crazy like bringing home a poisonous snake to have as her pet or deciding to jump of the roof wrapped in tons of toilet paper and rubber bands to see if she can bounce of the ground.
At first this meant I was going crazy running after her, keeping her feet on the ground instead of on their way up to the top of a tree. Eventually I learned to let her explore her environment her way. As Andrew told me, if she falls, will pick her up and the other kids knew very well what was dangerous and what was safe around their land.
Wolf competes with Scarlet for first place giving me mini-heart-attacks. He is so territorial and competitive. I lost count of how many times he got into fights.
He has an explosive personality and will react strongly to any little provocation.
It's a challenge for me because I have to be quite strict with him. And he does not make it easier for me either.
It's like... I'm called because he punched a kid and I get there and find out that the kid he punched ( and kicked... and sometimes there is some biting involved) was the one that pushed Chance the day before, or the one that bullies Tome (a friend of his), or the one that cut Naoim's hair ( a friend of Scarlet). I'm not going to lie, inside my head I do a little cheer but I can't let him think it's alright to work out these things with violence.
Roderick is going to be trouble when he grows up. I just know it. He is already running around after girls. The thing is... he is this tiny sweet gentleman. He picked flowers to give them, he tag along with their girly games so he could "protect" them from bugs. He opens doors for them.
I blame Andrew for this one. No doubt.
Andrew has this thing about teaching our boys how to properly treat a lady ( honestly I think he worries Conner, Owen's father, is a bad influence and he tries very hard to counter any nasty effects). Roderick takes his words very seriously and he even calls him up when he doesn't open the door for me because he is carrying all the bags from the car. " Dad! The door!"- he says, rolling his eyes and running to hold it for me and the girls.
The Seer of the village took a liking to Chance. She called her "the blessed one" and came around often to spend time with her. "A start shines on her", she said. I guess we really got it right with her name then. Mostly I blame it on the fact that Chance is still the happiest baby I have ever seen. She is always in a good mood. Always laughing and giggling. Her joy is contagious and she is growing up into a delightful little girl.
A hippie, delightful little girl. The Seer's influence did not go unnoticed and she lives in her own magic universe where shooting stars whisper secrets to her and the wind blows news from far lands into her ears. And animals talk to her. Of course.
I don't mind. I wish all my kids would live in that magic world for longer and never turned into grumpy grown ups.
Well... this was a big letter... so, come on! your turn!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Sintra
This is one of my favorite places in my country. It’s close to Lisbon and its a burst of green and freshness that won my heart while I was living there.
Yesterday I got to visit it after a spending the morning on a crowded shopping mall and as usually it was a breath of fresh air.
What do I do at night?
I keep odd hours and people sometimes ask me what do I do while everyone else is asleep.
Well… here is (one of) the answers.
Speed painting: fridge edition!
Friday, June 29, 2012
This is what happens when you don't reply.
"Maybe you were abducted by aliens…
Or attacked by zombies.
Did you use a chainsaw?
Do you have a chainsaw?
You should get a chainsaw in case you are ever attacked by zombies.
I’m just saying."
— Some girl on gmail, trying to talk to her absent friend.
No idea who.
Someone weird, probably.
:P
Note to self: Using my own quotes is narcissistically fun!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Sometimes you just have to laugh
This little bugger right there decided to break my heart this morning.
He fell in my balcony two days ago and he was all charming and cuddly and just when he won me over, he left.
And by left I mean died in my hands. Bastard!
He was just a baby and I could not feed him properly. He refused to eat anything but live flies and during the last night I could not get any.
I tried to make him eat soaked cat food because that’s what the internet told me to do and we all know the internet doesn’t lie. He probably decided I was a barbaric savage and was thinking the whole time ” what the hell, I’m not eating that, that is disgusting, bring me bugs!”.
I tried ants as well. Several sizes. Not that size matters… well, lets not have that discussion over a dead bird post, alright?
So after sleeping the whole night snuggled between my boobs ( did I mention that he was a pervy bird?) he started acting really weird in the morning.
He had no balance, his head was turning in an odd way, and I knew. Little birds are fragile, specially those who like to bungee jump without a rope from their nest… so I knew he was probably going to die.
I’m a softie. I don’t care if he was only around for two days… I started crying like a little girl. I put him on my bed because I was still hoping his tiny legs just fell asleep or something like that and, with big fat tears rolling down my face i just had to laugh.
The creature looked like it was either possessed by some sort of demon or really, really drunk.
Afraid he was going to hurt himself, I reached for him. He tumbled into my hand, tried to get up my sleeve and settled.
And then he died. And that was it. The little bitch!
As I sat there for a long time, I had all sorts of odd thoughts.
I had not given him a name because I was afraid to get attached and then having to let him go. Was it a self fulfilling prophecy?
Had I killed a poor baby bird by fearing it would die?
What would it take to make me fear I might win the lottery?
Come on, if the little buggie died so I could find out I had that amazing power, I had to put it to good use… you know, for him.
Maybe I should start by fearing someone would deliver a pizza for lunch.
After about an hour I took a deep breath and said one of those sentences that I’m sure my neighbors were thrilled to hear being carried over the open window: “What the hell am I going to do with the body?”
Sometimes you just have to laugh. Even if you are crying your eyes out.
Farewell, you picky, pervy bird. It was really nice of you to come to my house to die.
And you just had to look cute and adorable, didn’t you?
Creep!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Friday, November 4, 2011
Packing heat
The fireplace looks lively with bright orange flames.
I have a hot bag under my feet. Really hot. To prevent accidental burning of toes I have 4 socks on each foot.
I'm wearing a jacket and I have a blanket over my legs.
By my side I have not one but two smoking cups of tea.
Leaning against my leg there is a warm dog sleeping.
I'd say I'm well prepared for a cold night.
I have a hot bag under my feet. Really hot. To prevent accidental burning of toes I have 4 socks on each foot.
I'm wearing a jacket and I have a blanket over my legs.
By my side I have not one but two smoking cups of tea.
Leaning against my leg there is a warm dog sleeping.
I'd say I'm well prepared for a cold night.
From Apple's journal #62
*Apple climbs into bed after putting Chance and Roderick in their cribs.
She doesn't bother taking off her clothes, collapsing in the oversize
bed with a sigh of relief.
With her head buried in the pillow she can still hear Andrew finishing up the story he was reading the rest of the kids.
He always deviated from the books. The story could start off by being the little red ridding hood but by the second page he read ridding hood was in fact a ninja and the wolf kept the forest safe for the little animals and chase off any hunters that might come along with the help of a butterfly fairy and a retired pirate.
The funniest part is that he still would turn the pages of the book like he was actually reading.
She smiled as she heard him finish Beauty and the Beast with a "and then Belle and the prince that has no name so it must be Voldemort in disguise went to a furry convention on a cruise to the Bahamas all the rats in their castle lived happily ever after because they left Cinderella taking care of the place".
Those kids would be disappointed when they actually read the real stories by themselves and would beg him to tell his version of it again and again.
Then she heard him putting them to bed. One by one.
Each had his own ritual.
He would tuck Owen and ask if that night he wanted the light on or off. Off, please. Goodnight buddy. Good night dad.
He would twirl Ruby around to her bed, turn on her ballerina music box and tell her to be careful with the pirouettes in her dreams as he kissed her nose.
He would arrange the 12 stuffed animals around Scarlet in her bed and make sure there was some crumbles in a plate by the window for the cookie fairy. Then he would kiss her cheeks and her forehead and whisper "sweet dreams, cookie monster".
Finally he would put down Wolf in his bed, ruffle his hair and pull gently at his ears as the child pulled at his. He would turn on the night light and the mobile on top on the bed and tell him to have fun being naughty in his dreams so that he could be a good boy in the morning.
Apple listened carefully, already knowing the words he was saying by heart and turned around in the big bed, waiting for him to come through the door.*
Come here. With all that's been going on I miss you.
I want you to put me to bed as well.
I don't need a story. I just need your lips on mine and your arms around me.
With her head buried in the pillow she can still hear Andrew finishing up the story he was reading the rest of the kids.
He always deviated from the books. The story could start off by being the little red ridding hood but by the second page he read ridding hood was in fact a ninja and the wolf kept the forest safe for the little animals and chase off any hunters that might come along with the help of a butterfly fairy and a retired pirate.
The funniest part is that he still would turn the pages of the book like he was actually reading.
She smiled as she heard him finish Beauty and the Beast with a "and then Belle and the prince that has no name so it must be Voldemort in disguise went to a furry convention on a cruise to the Bahamas all the rats in their castle lived happily ever after because they left Cinderella taking care of the place".
Those kids would be disappointed when they actually read the real stories by themselves and would beg him to tell his version of it again and again.
Then she heard him putting them to bed. One by one.
Each had his own ritual.
He would tuck Owen and ask if that night he wanted the light on or off. Off, please. Goodnight buddy. Good night dad.
He would twirl Ruby around to her bed, turn on her ballerina music box and tell her to be careful with the pirouettes in her dreams as he kissed her nose.
He would arrange the 12 stuffed animals around Scarlet in her bed and make sure there was some crumbles in a plate by the window for the cookie fairy. Then he would kiss her cheeks and her forehead and whisper "sweet dreams, cookie monster".
Finally he would put down Wolf in his bed, ruffle his hair and pull gently at his ears as the child pulled at his. He would turn on the night light and the mobile on top on the bed and tell him to have fun being naughty in his dreams so that he could be a good boy in the morning.
Apple listened carefully, already knowing the words he was saying by heart and turned around in the big bed, waiting for him to come through the door.*
Come here. With all that's been going on I miss you.
I want you to put me to bed as well.
I don't need a story. I just need your lips on mine and your arms around me.
From Apple's journal #61
Owen is 9 already.
My little man is not so little anymore.
He still daydreams about fire trucks and he still covers the living room with blankets while building his forts but he does not sleep with the light on anymore and he gets ready by himself, choosing his own outfit and taking care of his hair.
Sometimes I can see a glimpse of the man he'll grow up to be in the tenderness he shows his little sisters when they stretch his patience or in the way he helps Wolf when he falls down.
All my children have their strengths... their "special powers". Owen's is definitely his ability to care for others. His kindness and attention. He is the perfect big brother and he embraces his role whole heartedly.
I'm so proud of him and of what he has became and if I do feel a sting of pain for seeing him grow up so fast I must also admit that I can't wait to meet the grown-up version of him.
My little man is not so little anymore.
He still daydreams about fire trucks and he still covers the living room with blankets while building his forts but he does not sleep with the light on anymore and he gets ready by himself, choosing his own outfit and taking care of his hair.
Sometimes I can see a glimpse of the man he'll grow up to be in the tenderness he shows his little sisters when they stretch his patience or in the way he helps Wolf when he falls down.
All my children have their strengths... their "special powers". Owen's is definitely his ability to care for others. His kindness and attention. He is the perfect big brother and he embraces his role whole heartedly.
I'm so proud of him and of what he has became and if I do feel a sting of pain for seeing him grow up so fast I must also admit that I can't wait to meet the grown-up version of him.
From Apple's journal #60
Chance is the happiest baby I have.
She giggles, she laughs, she chortles, she chuckles, she grins. She spends most of her time with huge smile plastered on her face, drooling happily.
She is also the fussiest baby I have.
She refuses to sleep longer than 2 hours, she doesn't eat as much as I would like her to and when she is not dazzling the world with her brilliant good mood she howls, she cries like she is being tortured. Luckily these moments are very short lived... but they are intense and frequent.
She's a master at keeping me from doing anything else so things around the house have been getting kind of sloppy.
Today, for example, I realised that the only clean shirt I had for Roderick was a rather inappropriate one.
I put it on thinking "oh who cares, he can't read it anyway".
I'm tired and my brain a bit sluggish so it took me a few seconds to catch up to reality and understand why the hell was Owen (who can read perfectly) asking me what a blow job was.
I looked at him blankly, hoping I misunderstood what he asked.
He pointed at the babbling baby on my arms and read: " All daddy wanted was a blowjob", then he looked at me and continued: "what's a blowjob mommy?".
I need to go do some laundry. NOW.
She giggles, she laughs, she chortles, she chuckles, she grins. She spends most of her time with huge smile plastered on her face, drooling happily.
She is also the fussiest baby I have.
She refuses to sleep longer than 2 hours, she doesn't eat as much as I would like her to and when she is not dazzling the world with her brilliant good mood she howls, she cries like she is being tortured. Luckily these moments are very short lived... but they are intense and frequent.
She's a master at keeping me from doing anything else so things around the house have been getting kind of sloppy.
Today, for example, I realised that the only clean shirt I had for Roderick was a rather inappropriate one.
I put it on thinking "oh who cares, he can't read it anyway".
I'm tired and my brain a bit sluggish so it took me a few seconds to catch up to reality and understand why the hell was Owen (who can read perfectly) asking me what a blow job was.
I looked at him blankly, hoping I misunderstood what he asked.
He pointed at the babbling baby on my arms and read: " All daddy wanted was a blowjob", then he looked at me and continued: "what's a blowjob mommy?".
I need to go do some laundry. NOW.
From Apple's journal #59
When Ruby was born there were some complications and I was unconscious for the whole thing.
When Scarlet was born I was scared out of my mind.
When Wolf was born I was nervous and a bit heartbroken because Andrew could not be there with me.
When Roderick was born I thought I had no one to take care of my children while I was in the hospital and Andrew didn't make it in time but I was calm and things went smoothly.
Now, with Chance, I had a nanny for my kids that kept bringing me the drawings they were making for me and that made the whole thing into an adventure for them *and* I had Andrew holding my hand all the time.
It was a walk in the park. Nice doctors, nice nurses, plenty of conversation and laughs.
The hours flew by and in a heartbeat I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms and I was ready to go home.
Andrew, on the other hand, looked like he was about to have a heart attack the whole time.
It was his first time and he kept fluffing my pillows, bringing me ice chips. "Do you want anything?" "Do you need anything?" "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Between contractions I looked at him and laughed... I could not help it. He was white as a ghost, his hands were shaking and his voice cracked when he said "good job muffin".
The nurses kept making jokes " oh poor thing... after this he won't be making you any more babies, Apple!".
He must have asked me if I was okay a thousand times.
When it was time to push I think he would have collapsed on the floor if he was not so concentrated in helping me. I don't think anything could have ripped him away from me at that time. If the floor beneath his feet disappeared he would have learn how to float to keep holding my hand.
And when the nurse put Chance in his arms, I'm sorry to say it this way but there is no other way to describe it : he cried like a little bitch. And I love him even more for it.
When Scarlet was born I was scared out of my mind.
When Wolf was born I was nervous and a bit heartbroken because Andrew could not be there with me.
When Roderick was born I thought I had no one to take care of my children while I was in the hospital and Andrew didn't make it in time but I was calm and things went smoothly.
Now, with Chance, I had a nanny for my kids that kept bringing me the drawings they were making for me and that made the whole thing into an adventure for them *and* I had Andrew holding my hand all the time.
It was a walk in the park. Nice doctors, nice nurses, plenty of conversation and laughs.
The hours flew by and in a heartbeat I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms and I was ready to go home.
Andrew, on the other hand, looked like he was about to have a heart attack the whole time.
It was his first time and he kept fluffing my pillows, bringing me ice chips. "Do you want anything?" "Do you need anything?" "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Between contractions I looked at him and laughed... I could not help it. He was white as a ghost, his hands were shaking and his voice cracked when he said "good job muffin".
The nurses kept making jokes " oh poor thing... after this he won't be making you any more babies, Apple!".
He must have asked me if I was okay a thousand times.
When it was time to push I think he would have collapsed on the floor if he was not so concentrated in helping me. I don't think anything could have ripped him away from me at that time. If the floor beneath his feet disappeared he would have learn how to float to keep holding my hand.
And when the nurse put Chance in his arms, I'm sorry to say it this way but there is no other way to describe it : he cried like a little bitch. And I love him even more for it.
From Apple's journal #58
Today was one of those perfect days.
Total bliss.
B is for Beauty
Waking up to a beautiful sunrise. The trees outside are starting to bloom and Nature is taking on it's colours again.
Went to wake the kids and Owen was already up, playing with Wolf. Walking in on them laughing as Owen tickled his little brother.
In the bathroom Ruby was tying Scarlet's hair with a red ribbon while the two of them talked about their kittens.
Walking into the kitchen and there was Andrew, pouring cereals into bowls with one hand, bouncing a smiling Roderick with the other.
L is for Love
Hearing Andrew shout: "kids, mom's up!" and hear them flock to the kitchen and give me good morning kisses.
Being handed a babbling baby by my husband as he pulls a chair for me and kisses my shoulder before pouring me a glass of orange juice.
Not being able to stop smiling because I could not imagine my life being more perfect.
I is for Intimacy
Andrew telling me that we were going out for a breakfast date as soon as Willow got here and whispering in my ear that he missed having me all for himself.
Feeling him getting into the shower behind me and stand under the warm water with his arms around me and talk about those little nothings that make us laugh.
S is for Secret
Sneaking out of the house to avoid disturbing the children busy with their homework.
Running outside giggling like kids and kissing in the middle of the street with the sun on our faces.
Sharing a delicious breakfast on a hidden spot, away from the world while making plans that belong only to us.
S is for Serenity
Falling asleep in Andrew's arms in the fading afternoon with Wolf curled up in my lap and Scarlet's head resting on my leg as the rest of the children watch The Lion King.
I'm going to be cheesy and say it: today was a fairytale .
Total bliss.
B is for Beauty
Waking up to a beautiful sunrise. The trees outside are starting to bloom and Nature is taking on it's colours again.
Went to wake the kids and Owen was already up, playing with Wolf. Walking in on them laughing as Owen tickled his little brother.
In the bathroom Ruby was tying Scarlet's hair with a red ribbon while the two of them talked about their kittens.
Walking into the kitchen and there was Andrew, pouring cereals into bowls with one hand, bouncing a smiling Roderick with the other.
L is for Love
Hearing Andrew shout: "kids, mom's up!" and hear them flock to the kitchen and give me good morning kisses.
Being handed a babbling baby by my husband as he pulls a chair for me and kisses my shoulder before pouring me a glass of orange juice.
Not being able to stop smiling because I could not imagine my life being more perfect.
I is for Intimacy
Andrew telling me that we were going out for a breakfast date as soon as Willow got here and whispering in my ear that he missed having me all for himself.
Feeling him getting into the shower behind me and stand under the warm water with his arms around me and talk about those little nothings that make us laugh.
S is for Secret
Sneaking out of the house to avoid disturbing the children busy with their homework.
Running outside giggling like kids and kissing in the middle of the street with the sun on our faces.
Sharing a delicious breakfast on a hidden spot, away from the world while making plans that belong only to us.
S is for Serenity
Falling asleep in Andrew's arms in the fading afternoon with Wolf curled up in my lap and Scarlet's head resting on my leg as the rest of the children watch The Lion King.
I'm going to be cheesy and say it: today was a fairytale .
From Apple's journal #57
First day of school for my children and I already want to bite someone.
Can you believe that some stupid kid pushed Ruby to the ground?
She came home with a nasty cut on her knee and crying about how she doesn't want to school any more.
I swear if I find who did it we are going to have a looong conversation. What kind of parents raises someone that hits weaker children?
What kind of example does that child have at home to behave like that?
Maybe the parents just don't care...
Maybe there are no parents and that child lives alone.
Maybe there is a lonely child out there, somewhere, just acting out, waiting to be noticed, to have someone who will take care of her/him.
...
Wait.
How did I get to the "by kobe, I want to adopt that child and show her/him a better world" so fast???
Can you believe that some stupid kid pushed Ruby to the ground?
She came home with a nasty cut on her knee and crying about how she doesn't want to school any more.
I swear if I find who did it we are going to have a looong conversation. What kind of parents raises someone that hits weaker children?
What kind of example does that child have at home to behave like that?
Maybe the parents just don't care...
Maybe there are no parents and that child lives alone.
Maybe there is a lonely child out there, somewhere, just acting out, waiting to be noticed, to have someone who will take care of her/him.
...
Wait.
How did I get to the "by kobe, I want to adopt that child and show her/him a better world" so fast???
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Guess what
Guess what I haven't been doing this night.
That's right: sleeping.
I have however been scribbling, doodling and typing.
5086 words are already down and I'm stepping away from the computer right now because this is, as I suspected, immensely life consuming.
I already have maps and clumps of words that only make sense in my head and stuff scratched and written again and scratched again. I'm going to be eaten alive.. I just know it.
This was not a good idea. I always knew that the day I started giving them permission to come to life my life would not be my own anymore.
And I'm already stressing out because I have to kill someone's mother. I keep telling myself that the lady is already kind of old and that it was her time but part of me is still going on about how I'm the creator of the universe and that I could save her.
Illusions of grandeur give me a great deal of guilt trips.
And I have to learn about ships and wine. I don't know anything about ships and wine. Why couldn't they make cookies and travel by bicycle?
And I have to make a map of two whole worlds so I don't get lost.
How am I ever going to be able to turn out my brain?
That's right: sleeping.
I have however been scribbling, doodling and typing.
5086 words are already down and I'm stepping away from the computer right now because this is, as I suspected, immensely life consuming.
I already have maps and clumps of words that only make sense in my head and stuff scratched and written again and scratched again. I'm going to be eaten alive.. I just know it.
This was not a good idea. I always knew that the day I started giving them permission to come to life my life would not be my own anymore.
And I'm already stressing out because I have to kill someone's mother. I keep telling myself that the lady is already kind of old and that it was her time but part of me is still going on about how I'm the creator of the universe and that I could save her.
Illusions of grandeur give me a great deal of guilt trips.
And I have to learn about ships and wine. I don't know anything about ships and wine. Why couldn't they make cookies and travel by bicycle?
And I have to make a map of two whole worlds so I don't get lost.
How am I ever going to be able to turn out my brain?
Making up my mind
I decided to join the Nanowrimo movement but I can't make up my mind.
I have 5 stories, 5 different worlds and they are all fighting with each other to see who gets to be written.
I also have all those little people living inside my head complaining that if I'm going to write 50000 words of anything in a month I should write about them, They have stuff to do, places to go, kids to raise and homework that should have been done last week.
I keep jumping from one thing to another and I can't concentrate because when I think I finally chose one all the other revolt against me and make it impossible for me to write whatever I was going to.
I don't know how those people who write books for a living manage to do it. How do they deal with having that much people claiming their attention and be able to get something done?
And if it's bad now it will get worst because the more attention I give to an idea, a character or a voice be more greedy it becomes.
It grows in size and in volume and pretty soon I can't even think properly with all the noise in my head.
So I decided I'm not going to chose one. I will not pick favorites and everyone will have to share my time.
I will keep the goal: 50000 words in a month but I will not be pouring them all into a novel. I will be writing them all at the same time and try not to go completely mad at the same time.
Since this decision I was able to stop opening and closing open office documents without writing a single line and actually write 3000 words. 3115 to be exact.
I will not end the month of November with a novel but I will write and I'll actually start putting on paper the stories that I've been daydreaming about but never got around to actually write them.
I'll probably be consumed by my characters before the 15th.
And I'm really afraid they won't let me sleep.
And this is a really bad month to do this because I just discovered minecraft and I'm kind of addicted to it.
Ahhh.. chaotic and impossible, just the way I like it!
I have 5 stories, 5 different worlds and they are all fighting with each other to see who gets to be written.
I also have all those little people living inside my head complaining that if I'm going to write 50000 words of anything in a month I should write about them, They have stuff to do, places to go, kids to raise and homework that should have been done last week.
I keep jumping from one thing to another and I can't concentrate because when I think I finally chose one all the other revolt against me and make it impossible for me to write whatever I was going to.
I don't know how those people who write books for a living manage to do it. How do they deal with having that much people claiming their attention and be able to get something done?
And if it's bad now it will get worst because the more attention I give to an idea, a character or a voice be more greedy it becomes.
It grows in size and in volume and pretty soon I can't even think properly with all the noise in my head.
So I decided I'm not going to chose one. I will not pick favorites and everyone will have to share my time.
I will keep the goal: 50000 words in a month but I will not be pouring them all into a novel. I will be writing them all at the same time and try not to go completely mad at the same time.
Since this decision I was able to stop opening and closing open office documents without writing a single line and actually write 3000 words. 3115 to be exact.
I will not end the month of November with a novel but I will write and I'll actually start putting on paper the stories that I've been daydreaming about but never got around to actually write them.
I'll probably be consumed by my characters before the 15th.
And I'm really afraid they won't let me sleep.
And this is a really bad month to do this because I just discovered minecraft and I'm kind of addicted to it.
Ahhh.. chaotic and impossible, just the way I like it!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Scarlet says #1 - What is your favorite animal?
My favourite animal is the unicorn .
Unicorn !
Unicorns are very pretty!
They are like horses but more magical.
They have a horn and they can make flowers grow everywhere.
Unicorns eat cookies and puke rainbows. It's not gross because it's pretty.
I want one. A pink one.
He could sleep under my bed.
Unicorns don't poop so they are good pets.
And I could ride my unicorn instead of buying a car when I'm older.
Unicorn !
Unicorns are very pretty!
They are like horses but more magical.
They have a horn and they can make flowers grow everywhere.
Unicorns eat cookies and puke rainbows. It's not gross because it's pretty.
I want one. A pink one.
He could sleep under my bed.
Unicorns don't poop so they are good pets.
And I could ride my unicorn instead of buying a car when I'm older.
Two more
I have two more imaginary people I'd like you to meet.
You all know Apple by now and by you all I mean all the google-boots that like to come to my blog and take a nap.
I like them, they are like very clean virtual pets that instead of dead mice bring you people looking for "having sex on a building", "difference between gender and sex" and my favorite: "cat depression makes me cry".
Now, I have two more imaginary people that want to play around. I'm starting to think that this three bedroom-blog is going to get very crowded. I might have to think about a second floor and more bathrooms.
Anyway, just to let you know that there will be a 4 year old Scarlet running around and a Willow learning to live with some very predictable house guests.
You all know Apple by now and by you all I mean all the google-boots that like to come to my blog and take a nap.
I like them, they are like very clean virtual pets that instead of dead mice bring you people looking for "having sex on a building", "difference between gender and sex" and my favorite: "cat depression makes me cry".
Now, I have two more imaginary people that want to play around. I'm starting to think that this three bedroom-blog is going to get very crowded. I might have to think about a second floor and more bathrooms.
Anyway, just to let you know that there will be a 4 year old Scarlet running around and a Willow learning to live with some very predictable house guests.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Banana Republic is the only way to judge!
So i'm testing Google Scribe. You don't know what that is?
Well... They describe it as:
"Do you ever find yourself writing slowly, staring at a blinking cursor or looking for words to express yourself? Today we are happy to announce the availability of the text suggestions and autocomplete feature of Google Scribe, which is graduating from Google Labs and can now be found in Blogger in Draft.
Google Scribe helps you write more efficiently by suggesting common words and phrases as you type."
I could not decide if that sounded like a really good way to improve on my laziness skills or if it would be as annoying as that little clip from Microsoft Word. Only one solution: try it!
So the next (red) lines are going to be written using the suggestions it gives me.
Recently I have been noticing that during the summer months there is a lot of heat. It's so hot that dogs are not really relevant to the present.
How can dogs eat the food that we eat and not eat it?
That is why I am so confused about the difference between dogs and humans.
The main reason why we should not stop thinking about how different we humans are from dogs with chronic happiness syndrome is our inability to balance competing interests.
Human are incapable of handling the complex dynamics of competition between interests. When we have several things we are really passionate about we become stressed because of the lack of time in our lives. Even more important we can not avoid becoming bored with our own conscience because we end up not being able to do any of the things we are passionate about.
Dogs, on the other hand, are perfectly happy with their multiple interests. They like to eat, play and sleep and they do it. All day long!
That's why dogs are better at being happy.
OK... that was interesting! It's quite challenging actually. It's hard to keep a coherent speech while it gives you several sugestions that are really weird.
The following (blue) lines are going to be written by simply choosing the first option it gives me.
Let us suppose that in the majority of cases the patient is still in a state of high alert. I'm not a fan of dark chocolate but I can not deny that I love quotes and sayings about life and icecream.
The first thing I saw was a bunch of people who share your desire to eat and visit with some of your readers.
I have a small amount of the tax year. I do!
Don't tell me that I could not vote for the best zombie! I can vouch for any zombie movie I have ever seen.
Furthermore the whole of each row of graphs in your life is not determined by your doctor.
Be sure to take a good look just like you would in a more general level of competence.
Please note that the same is valid for small values and the group of patients with gastric cancer.
Banana Republic is the only way to judge!
Oh, I'm in love with this new functionality. I'll be using it a LOT.
Well... They describe it as:
"Do you ever find yourself writing slowly, staring at a blinking cursor or looking for words to express yourself? Today we are happy to announce the availability of the text suggestions and autocomplete feature of Google Scribe, which is graduating from Google Labs and can now be found in Blogger in Draft.
Google Scribe helps you write more efficiently by suggesting common words and phrases as you type."
I could not decide if that sounded like a really good way to improve on my laziness skills or if it would be as annoying as that little clip from Microsoft Word. Only one solution: try it!
So the next (red) lines are going to be written using the suggestions it gives me.
Recently I have been noticing that during the summer months there is a lot of heat. It's so hot that dogs are not really relevant to the present.
How can dogs eat the food that we eat and not eat it?
That is why I am so confused about the difference between dogs and humans.
The main reason why we should not stop thinking about how different we humans are from dogs with chronic happiness syndrome is our inability to balance competing interests.
Human are incapable of handling the complex dynamics of competition between interests. When we have several things we are really passionate about we become stressed because of the lack of time in our lives. Even more important we can not avoid becoming bored with our own conscience because we end up not being able to do any of the things we are passionate about.
Dogs, on the other hand, are perfectly happy with their multiple interests. They like to eat, play and sleep and they do it. All day long!
That's why dogs are better at being happy.
OK... that was interesting! It's quite challenging actually. It's hard to keep a coherent speech while it gives you several sugestions that are really weird.
The following (blue) lines are going to be written by simply choosing the first option it gives me.
Let us suppose that in the majority of cases the patient is still in a state of high alert. I'm not a fan of dark chocolate but I can not deny that I love quotes and sayings about life and icecream.
The first thing I saw was a bunch of people who share your desire to eat and visit with some of your readers.
I have a small amount of the tax year. I do!
Don't tell me that I could not vote for the best zombie! I can vouch for any zombie movie I have ever seen.
Furthermore the whole of each row of graphs in your life is not determined by your doctor.
Be sure to take a good look just like you would in a more general level of competence.
Please note that the same is valid for small values and the group of patients with gastric cancer.
Banana Republic is the only way to judge!
Oh, I'm in love with this new functionality. I'll be using it a LOT.
Blogs to read
I'm trying to find cool blogs to read but I'm experiencing some difficulties.
The thing is I'm trying to get away from anything that's depressing or negative and apparently most people out there are only interested in writing about slitting their wrists and complaining about life in a very dark, murky, non-fun way.
I get it... and I totally understand that once a week you just have to give in to your emo-self and write a poem about how lost in the dark you are... but I don't want to read a blog where everything is negative and gloomy. It brings me down and i'm selfish enough to swim away from those.
But I'm going to be honest: I miss interacting with the "internet beings". I miss having a conversation. I miss commenting on posts and checking to see if I got some feedback.
Right now I only have three blogs that make me truly excited to see if they have new stuff on. I need more!
The thing is I'm trying to get away from anything that's depressing or negative and apparently most people out there are only interested in writing about slitting their wrists and complaining about life in a very dark, murky, non-fun way.
I get it... and I totally understand that once a week you just have to give in to your emo-self and write a poem about how lost in the dark you are... but I don't want to read a blog where everything is negative and gloomy. It brings me down and i'm selfish enough to swim away from those.
But I'm going to be honest: I miss interacting with the "internet beings". I miss having a conversation. I miss commenting on posts and checking to see if I got some feedback.
Right now I only have three blogs that make me truly excited to see if they have new stuff on. I need more!
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